THE rubbish of today has an interesting history. It all started in 2020 when the Victorian Government, under Premier Dan, unveiled its grand vision for waste management under Dan’s ten-year circular economy plan.
Among its noble goals was the rollout of a statewide four-bin system by 2027, designed to reduce landfill waste, improve recycling rates, and usher in a glorious new era of circular economy righteousness.
Enter the now infamous fourth bin – the purple-lidded glass bin – adding to the existing lineup of red (general waste), yellow (recycling), and green (organics). The logic? Glass contaminates other recyclables, so let’s give it its own royal chariot. Fair enough.
But the real kicker? Some councils tasked with actually implementing this bold vision quietly made the genius decision to collect the general waste bin fortnightly instead of weekly in many areas. Because apparently, if you separate your glass, your paper, your cans, your veggie peels, and your dog hair correctly, you should have barely any “rubbish” left. Problem solved.
Never mind that the state government didn’t mandate a fortnightly red bin pickup. That was left to individual councils and Mitchell and Macedon Ranges are two who embraced the idea with the enthusiasm of someone who’s never had to change a toddler’s nappy on a hot day.
And so now, in the name of sustainability, households are told to keep their garbage stewing for 14 days in the Aussie sun. Residents have voiced frustration – particularly families, the elderly, and anyone without space for six different waste tubs and a compost heap the size of a small car.
Meanwhile, councils defend the move, arguing that with weekly FOGO (Food Organics and Garden Organics) collection, there’s no need to keep hauling your “minimal” landfill waste every seven days. The scent of civic virtue, however, has done little to mask the stench of fortnight-old bin juice.
And because nothing says community trust quite like someone peering into your rubbish. In a bold move to educate residents Mitchell Shire has decided to have inspectors lift the lid on bin contents and leave little report cards — smiley face if you’ve recycled right, sad face if you dared toss a pizza box with a grease stain.
It’s like primary school, but with garbage. Apparently, the road to environmental enlightenment is paved with passive-aggressive bin stickers and the faint whiff of judgment wafting from your nature strip.
Who needs weekly general waste when you can have a colour-coded future full of fragrant optimism?
Progress, apparently, comes one rotting nappy at a time – but then again that’s just my opinion.
