By Pam Kiriakidis
Despite a successful career in his profession, former psychiatrist Norman Rose dealt with a failed marriage, two rebirths, and religious conversion in his personal life.
Now retired in Kilmore, Dr Rose wrote about his hardships in his newly-published memoir Life’s Golden Thread – a biography that follows the account of a Jewish psychiatrist who was successful in the fields of sexology and forensic psychiatry, but challenged with poor self-esteem and relationships.
The memoir begins with his childhood in Melbourne – a family of six with a traumatised immigrant mother who was unable to accept the status of her family.
“My mother came from Ukraine, one of the last people to get out before the Soviets closed the border … she had an interesting background, and a whole lot of traumas where she went through famine, revolution,” Dr Rose said.
“She fanatically wanted a daughter … I have a vivid memory of my second brother being born, I was eight years old … I have a memory of my father answering the telephone [and was told] ‘it’s another boy’, and he cried.”
Dr Rose said the result of his failed marriage was due to his poor relationship with his mother.
“For me growing up the way I was and what happened to me as a child with my insecurities, love was a real problem,” he said.
After 14 years of marriage, Dr Rose’s marriage ended in 1975 but he was already in the process of working through his own issues that eventually turned into his first rebirth.
When working at Prince Henry’s Hospital in Melbourne, Dr Rose was highly advised to seek therapy elsewhere, which prompted him to learn more about his ‘psychological rebirth’ and the factors behind his failed marriage.
“What I talk about is something that psychologists and psychiatrists say, the word for it is separation individuation, this part of the discovery that really led to one of my rebirths, my psychological rebirths if you like,” he said.
“[Austrian psychiatrist] Margaret Mahler is one of the principal people behind this … in fact it was a social worker at Prince Henry’s Hospital who directed me to this sort of material.
“But what it is, is that when you have a poor attachment, an insecure attachment to the parent you do not develop a complete sense of self.
“In my case this led to a real conflict because getting close to somebody, a potential partner, was fraught with difficulty.
“There is a sense of needing somebody too desperate, and then the fear of being swallowed up, engulfed, and looking what little sense of yourself if you become attached.”
It was not until his second marriage that Dr Rose experienced his second rebirth where he unlocked the world of Christianity.
The newlyweds agreed to keep religion out of the picture, but soon after when Dr Rose listened to Italian Focolare movement founder Chiara Lubic, he was began discovering an unexpected path.
“This is my life, this woman Chiara Lubic has given me my life,” he said.
Since his second rebirth in the 1980s, Dr Rose has been involved in the movement, travelling to different parts of the world, which is expressed in his new memoir.
“The story is one about resilience and one about overcoming adversity and thriving through that, finding yourself [which] I think is the most valuable thing that you [can] have.”
Life’s Golden Thread is available through https://amzn.to/3XUVu7F or at The Kilmore Bookstore, at 28 Sydney Street, Kilmore.
